Five short scenes follow Simple Simon as he blunders through fishing, foraging and fetching water, never quite grasping how the world works. He's one of the oldest comic characters in the Mother Goose collection, and the repeating structure makes it easy to read a verse at a time.
From Mother Goose / Nursery Rhymes (traditional). See the whole collection.
Simple Simon met a pieman,
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
"Let me taste your ware."
Says the pieman to Simple Simon,
"Show me first your penny,"
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
"Indeed, I have not any."
Simple Simon went a-fishing
For to catch a whale;
All the water he could find
Was in his mother's pail!
Simple Simon went to look
If plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much,
Which made poor Simon whistle.
He went to catch a dicky bird,
And thought he could not fail,
Because he had a little salt,
To put upon its tail.
He went for water with a sieve,
But soon it ran all through;
And now poor Simple Simon
Bids you all adieu.
Public domain. Text from The Real Mother Goose (Blanche Fisher Wright, 1916), via Project Gutenberg. View the source edition