Two short rhymes in one. The first is a joke about an old woman who mishears everything she's asked, still funny after all these years. The second is Goosey Goosey Gander, all bounce and repetition, though it takes a sharp turn at the end.
From Mother Goose / Nursery Rhymes (traditional). See the whole collection.
"Old woman, old woman, shall we go a-shearing?"
"Speak a little louder, sir, I am very thick of hearing."
"Old woman, old woman, shall I kiss you dearly?"
"Thank you, kind sir, I hear you very clearly."
GOOSEY, GOOSEY, GANDER
Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers;
I took him by the left leg,
And threw him down the stairs.
Public domain. Text from The Real Mother Goose (Blanche Fisher Wright, 1916), via Project Gutenberg. View the source edition